When we are hurt, especially by those close to us through betrayal, belittlement, or neglect, those emotions often become deeply etched in our hearts. In psychology, this is called traumatic memory, and it tends to resurface in the form of bitterness, anger, or even self-rejection. Forgiveness is not denying the pain. It is acknowledging that it truly happened, but choosing not to let that pain control your future.

Ephesians 4:32 says, "Just as God in Christ forgave you." This means we do not forgive someone because they deserve it. We forgive because we have already been unconditionally forgiven. And now, we are invited to respond with that same grace. Jesus said on the cross: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34). That is the highest example of forgiveness. Forgiveness frees us from being defined by our wounds. It lets us become witnesses of God's grace.

Here are some simple, concrete steps to help you move from bitterness toward forgiveness and freedom:

Write out a list and reflect on:

• Who hurt me?

• What exactly did they do, and how did it affect me?

Don't rush to say "I should forgive." Start with "That really hurt." That is where true healing begins.

You can pray something like this:

"Lord, You know what this person did to me. There is still bitterness and pain in my heart. I do not know how to let go, but I am willing to hand this wound over to You. Heal me, Lord, and give me the strength to forgive, even if I can only take a small step today. Amen."

Forgiveness rarely happens all at once. It is a choice you renew every time the memory resurfaces. Each time, you can say: "Lord, I choose not to let this pain define me anymore. I choose, by Your grace, to live in freedom."

Reflect daily on these truths:

• I am someone who is unconditionally loved and forgiven by God.

• God has forgiven me in Christ. I can also forgive others through Him.

This helps you see yourself and others through God's eyes, restoring emotional balance and spiritual strength over time.

You do not have to force yourself to let go through sheer willpower. Instead, choose one day at a time, by faith to move toward freedom. You may not feel ready to fully forgive just yet, but the moment you say, "Lord, I’m willing," that is the moment God begins to work.

當我們被傷害時，特別是來自親近之人的背叛、貶低、忽略，情緒會深深地刻印在心靈裡。心理學上稱這為創傷性記憶，它會不斷以苦毒、怒氣、否定自我等方式出現。重要的是：饒恕不是否認所受的傷害，而是承認那確實發生了，但選擇不讓那傷害掌控我的未來。

以弗所書 4:32 說：「正如神在基督裡饒恕了你們一樣」。這表示我們不是因為「對方值得」才饒恕，而是因為我們已經被無條件地饒恕了，所以我們也願意以同樣的心回應。耶穌在十字架上說：「父啊，赦免他們，因為他們所做的，他們不知道。」（路加福音 23:34）這是饒恕的極致榜樣。

以下是具體步驟，幫助你從苦毒轉向饒恕與自由：

寫下一個清單，列出：

• 誰讓我受傷？

• 他／她具體做了什麼事，讓我受了怎樣的影響？

不要急著說「我應該原諒」，先說出「那真的很痛」。這是真正醫治的開始。

你可以這樣禱告：

「主啊，祢知道這個人對我做了什麼，我心中仍有苦毒與傷痛。我不知道怎麼放下，但我願意先把這傷交給祢，求祢醫治我，給我力量饒恕，哪怕只是一點點開始。阿們。」

饒恕不是一次性完成，而是每當你再想起那人、那事，就選擇再次把苦毒交給主。你可以對神說：

「主，我選擇不讓這段傷害再定義我。我選擇靠你的恩典活出自由。」

每天默想：

• 「我是被神無條件饒恕與愛的人」

• 「神在基督裡已饒恕了我，我也能靠祂饒恕他人」

這能幫助你用屬神的眼光看自己和他人，逐步恢復情感平衡與屬靈穩定。

你不是靠意志力去放下，而是每天用信心選擇走向自由。也許你現在還無法「完全饒恕」，但只要你說：「主，我願意」，這就是神可以動工的地方。